Not everyone has to go to college?

The worst thing that I can think of in a high school is "College Day". This is the day, that all the Seniors and Staff member wear the shirt of the college that they are committed to, or for the teachers, what college they attended. On that glorious College Day, where the teacher and administration can beam with pride about what a wonderful job they have done to move these bright individuals onto bigger, better, (and more expensive) schools. There is a large group of students not committed to their lifelong careers at the young age of 18.  Do you see all those "smart kids" wearing their $65 Northwestern, or University of Illinois sweatshirts, and I bet there is even some kids wearing their $65 Elgin Community College sweatshirt too? When you walk into the Special Ed class, do those kids have on their college sweatshirts?  What about that kid that is the smartest in the bunch, but their parents can't afford to send them to college at all, so they are "going to work for awhile and see what happens"? What about that girl walking in the hallway 3 months pregnant that certainly doesn't know where she will be even in a year, but it probably won't be doing keg stands at the College Frat party. What about that kid that freckin hates school because they were never really motivated with “school”. Do you think they are going to college?

For me, I always wanted to be a teacher. When I was in 4th grade, I knew what I wanted to do. It was rare that at 10 years old, I continued my commitment to that profession. My parents had vocational school and some community college, so they never pushed me either way. I was not the smartest kid in class, but I was a hard worker, B's and some C's were my comfort zone. I was personally motivated, and if going to college was the way to becoming a teacher, then so be it. For MANY, 17 to 18 years old is WAY too early to commit to your forever life long dreams.. How in the world are you suppose to know at that young age what you want to be...forever!  It's almost impossible.

A young man at 18 years old was the smartest of the bunch. He was in the Academically Talented Math program all the way from elementary school, he took all of the AT classes, he got all A's and was one of the top students in the graduating class. He committed to University of Illinois for engineering and was rewarded so many scholarships, that the Senior Recognition assembly was laughable because he was constantly called up. He and his fellow U of I friends sat at lunch with the rest, and picked out dorm assignments and dressed occasionally in the U of I attire, while the rest rolled their eyes. His family and friends were so proud of him.  He went to College that fall and guess what...he wasn't the smartest in the class anymore. He had to do something new...study. Why was the smartest in the bunch surprised by this? Maybe it was because he was never truly challenged in high school? Maybe he didn't want to be an engineer and wanted to be a policeman instead? Maybe he wanted to have fun more than study? Maybe he spent too much time with his High School girlfriend? Maybe because he was "smart" and liked numbers, that being an engineer was a logical push for a kid like that. I don't know. He did end up getting about a semester away from graduating from U of I with a degree in Engineering, but never finished and never went back to school.

My husband works damn hard, we take care of our family, we have nice things, we are happy. Sometimes we talk about "what if he had graduated and gotten an engineering job?" Maybe we would have nicer cars, and a bigger house, and more kids. But maybe we would also be unhappy. Who knows? A constant cringe worthy moment that happens often is when someone asks him or I, "What do you/your husband do for a living?" We refrain from saying "He works for Best Buy." We now say "He/I am a manager at Best Buy." It has a certain distinguishable twang to it, so people don't think that he is ringing up 18 year old kids buying the lastest and greatest Halo game, although he does that sometime too. The problem is that he, and I, are not always "proud" of saying his job; even though he makes more money than I do, even with two degrees that I am still paying for. My question is, why are people sometimes made to feel less worthy because of the way that they provide for their families? Just because someone does not go, or graduate, from college does not mean that they are stupid, or lazy, or unmotivated. My husband is none of these.

Do not get me wrong, there are so many benefits of going to college. I think the biggest one was of going out and being on my own. I had to find a way to eat, to make money, to be on time, to study, to get decent grades, to find a way home for Christmas, to meet others that don't think like I do, to problem solve, to find money for drinks on Saturday nights. All of these things, except for the drinks, has made me a better teacher. College certainly had it benefits. Being a teachers, it does makes sense that if I was going to educated others, that I needed to be as fully educated as possible.

We have many friends/family that own their own businesses, work for amazing companies, or have/had long term careers; and they never went to college. They didn't have their "College Day" celebration in High School. Was it because the could not get into college, I am certain that was not the reason. I am sure they all had different motivations for not choosing to go to college. Maybe it was even just " I didn't want to go." Does that make their teachers proud of them? Is there a box that they check off “Check... they went to college, success!” Cause as far as I can tell they are all taxpaying, productive members of society, isn't that all we want out of our fellow citizens right?

So, I can bitch and moan about education's faults, and their lack of empathy, but that is not helpful to anyone. What can I do right now at a 5th grade teacher in suburban Chicago? Maybe, I can tell kids that I am proud of their growth, no matter where they started; I can tell them that they worked hard today; I can encourage creativeness in hands-on projects, and building, and art, and cooking, and caring for others. I can tell their parents about the skills that I notice from them, and give them ideas about ways that they can encourage these skills at home. I can encourage them to problem solve, to think independently, to look me in the eye when they talk to me, to say "Good Morning, and Have a nice day". I will remind them about not putting their heads on their desk, and to be proud of the work that they turn in. Most importantly, I will tell them that no matter where they go, hard work does not go unnoticed. I will remind them of these things, because these are not questions on the final exam for graduating college. They are life skills that EVERYONE needs to be able to get a job, and keep it...any job.

I can also refrain from telling them that they can "All go to College" because that's a bunch of damn garbage. Just because you CAN go to college, that does not mean that you should. Every job in the world has a purpose, and not everyone is going to be the CEO. We need mail clerks, and garbage collectors, and snow plowers, and roofers, and hairdressers, and plumbers, and electricians, and painters, and Best Buy managers. These are all amazing jobs, that take hard work and commitment. So...what can middle and high schools do to encourage these vocational jobs into their classes, along with the engineering, science, and math? After all, we are educating all, remember? What are companies doing to recruit students out of high school that don't need to go to college, because their careers requires experience and training. Also, are we doing a good enough job with critical thinking skills in High School to provide the non-college students a strong enough base of thinking that can take them throughout life.

In about 12 years, when our girls turn 17 and it's time to talk about college, we will talk about hard work, and commitment, and the expense. We will try to find out what they really want to do with their lives, and we will talk about how 17 and 18 is very young to make such a large commitment. We will talk about the real life experiences that we had to deal with while at college. But, we will also point out the many examples of family and friends, that never went to college, but still lead successful and happy lives. We will encourage, but not pressure them to go to college, and hope that they make that best decision for themselves.

A New World?

11/13/16

Wednesday morning at 3:30am, I woke from a not full sleep. I grabbed my phone and typed in Electoral College Map. First thing that pops up is "Donald J. Trump won the Presidency". Fuck You Google...what do you know!   I feel asleep at 10:30, knowing that that was probably going to be the case, but I did not want to believe it. I tossed and turned till about 5am and then just decided to get it over with and wake up and face this new reality.

I hesitantly jumped on Facebook. The first article that pops up was "What to tell your kids?" Then I lost it, I sobbed as if I had just lost my best friend; What was I going to tell my kids...not my children...my students? How was I going to get up in front of them today and say a nice thing about our next President? How would I say that no matter what, we have to support our leader? My mind was a swirl of emotions; shock, disbelief, fear, nervousness, anger. I didn't know the answer to "Why?"

Going home that night, after literally blinking out tears all day, I did not want to even turn on the news, but I felt that I HAD to, I needed answers now cause I still had no understanding as to the why, yet? Quite honestly, I needed answers from the media as to how they royally fucked this up, since they had been saying from the beginning that this was a "no brainer". Tony got home, and I needed to process, but he did not want to even talk about it. He text me earlier in the day saying "I still can't believe it", but I think that was his way to show me he was done with the whole thing. The news had no "sorry we fucked this up", but it did show the protesters in Chicago, Seattle, New York,on that first night and my heart sang. I was so relieve that I was clearly not the only one in complete shock. This was only the first night and things did not get a crazy as they had gotten over the following days since then.

After the kids went to bed, I went on Facebook to find answers...not a great source, but clearly all of America was on Facebook that night. I still felt like I had gotten punched in the stomach and I wanted almost affrimation that this was totally how it was going to go and I was just losing my damn mind. I was not alone in my thinking and calming to hear others grief too.  I saw celebrations, boasts, certainty of this result, but then others with similar perspectives to me; shock, anger, fear, disbelief. Some had compared this day to 9/11 and I feel that is a bit dramatic, but my "shock" is in that area of emotions.

From my isolated, naive, suburban white woman perspective, I like America just the way it is. Since Obama took presidency, I have gotten married, had two kids, Tony got promoted, we bought a beautiful new house...we are fucking happy! I also am truly proud that LGBT rights have been respected over these 8 years, I actually like Common Core in education, and I am happy with how the economy is going. Why would I want to change that? But obviously, not everyone is happy...and that is what I am/was set out to figure out.

Someone posted an amazing article; one of about twenty that I read that day. The article compared American to the Hunger Games, and other "hero" movies like Star Wars, and Braveheart. The analogy compared the "Empire"/"Capital"/Urban areas compared to the "Districts"/Rural areas. I felt that I had found my answer, that was it! Yeah...my hope to figure this mess out! It fits into a nice, little blue box all ready to be fixed up and solved...maybe? Just Maybe? Perhaps, people in rural areas feel treated unfairly by America, because they don't have the opportunities that we have in the Urban areas. That's it! That is the answer! I have been so fortunate to have 35 years of a suburban, white, upper-middle class life. I am ever grateful for it, but this almost perfect life has also kept me isolated to how others outside of this might live. I am not saying that it was all delivered on a silver platter, I worked hard, but the opportunities were available.

But then there are my friends, yes you... that ruined my happy little answer for why this happened. These are my really close friends too, we raise our children together, we vacation together, we talk politics, and I value their opinions and enjoy hearing their perspectives. Almost all of them voted for Trump. What... the...royal... hell...am... I... missing!  They didn't grow up in rural American. They grew up down the street from me, we rode our bikes together, we played on the same sports teams, we went to college together....WTF? I guess they don't fit into a box, just like I don't fit into a box. This week, I told my dear friends them that I love them all, but ...I need some time. I will try to seek clarity from them, and they will patiently let me pepper them with questions, and I will try to understand their perspective...but now it's too soon. No matter what happens, I will never say "I told you so", it must be a "Now I see your side".

You see, my anger is not with the Republican Party. Tony and I actually have a lot that we agree with that are "Republican Values". Republicans and Democrats are in the exact same spot...they both need to change. From my perspective, they didn't even want Trump. But people liked him for his "say it how it is" attitude. He is going to make changes, and that's what people want. My problem is the person, the person that I will have to listen to for 4/8 more years. I don't want to be embarrassed by my president.  They say he's a smart businessman, an innovator, a motivator...I think he's an asshole. He's your drunk, racist uncle, that you can't tell to shut the fuck up, cause your mom will get pissed at you. He's a dick...and how the hell am I suppose to go to school and tell my students, and my own kids one day, that this fucker, is a leader that we need to look up to and support. Are you out of your ever loving mind?  Again, it's not the Republicans fault  it's that they also got backed into a corner with a crap candidate, but they just happened to come up on top...barely by the way.

My revelation this week, is that I see/hear things on FB and Twitter, and in the news, and talking to people, but I am isolated. to this "bubble" of a life.  I saw and heard, but I did not actually LISTEN. I thought they were all "crazy", and dismissed it like a fly, thinking "there is no way that will ever happen". My goal is to stop seeing and hearing, and start LISTENING, and to engage in conversations. I always feel the hard part is that sometimes when you question peoples thinking, they take offense. How can I question other people to get their opinions, without them thinking that I am a bitch, cause I always seem to come off that way? My friends and family are more patient with my questions cause they know that I am not trying to hurt them. I need to have conversations that will build me up to be a well rounded thinker, and one that can empathize with others. Cause maybe then I won't be so blind sided.

So I started the first step of my LISTENING goal today by going to see my Dad. He has not voted since Nixon, and he told me last week that he voted for Trump. My mom called him an idiot, and we laughed it off. This week, my mom told me to just stay away from him, but I couldn't help it. He knows how upset I am, and with tears in my eyes I said  "Why did you vote for him?" With a straight face and a pause of hesitation, he said  "Cause I think he'll do a good job." With that, I have to believe what my Dad says, he has never steered me wrong, and that is my new belief...that he will do a  good job. I have to believe that...cause that Canadian waiting list is way too long! ;-)

After FOREVER...

After 17 years, today was my last day of JCPenney.,.

My beautiful flowers from today 

The summer before my sophomore year of high school, my friend Nicole's mom was pressuring her to go to the mall and fill out applications for a job. I just wanted to go to the mall to shop, I was working at a Doctors office part time and I was happy with my tedious job of filing papers. I agreed to go with her and when she got up to the counter, I took an application too. As I was not actually looking to find a job, I was not very prepared... I had no idea what my Social Security number was, so I left that blank and said that I would get back to them, cause after all I was only 16 years old, and what 16 year old knows their Social?  My friend got the job in the men's department a week later. I never thought of going back and actually putting my SS number on there. The Catalog manager called about two week later and wanted to know if I was interested to come in for an interview,...and to bring my social security number too.

Peggy and I

After not a very gruesome interview, she asked me to come in for training for the catalog department. I had no idea what catalog was, or was required to do there, but I took the job. I did have to take trip with my mom to get some "dressy" clothes, after all we were required to wear dresses and nylons when I first started there! I ended up loving the catalog department, I learned how to be a perfect gift wrapper, and me and my fellow catalog employees would have a great time racing to see who could gift wrap the fastest. I still use this gift wrapping skill to this day. The best part of all about my start at JCP, was that I had about five friends from high school that worked in the store, so I never felt like work at all! High school breezed by and they were always very flexible with my soccer and high school commitment schedules. It was the perfect job!

During college, I found the nearest JCPenney and worked there for one year, but I always made it back to Dundee for summers and Holiday breaks. It was something I knew, I felt comfortable there. I didn't get to work in the catalog department always, but I got to try the home departments, dresses, shoes and  juniors. This is where I truly learned about working with customers and the ins and out of retail. Folding clothes, ringing customers, cleaning dressing rooms were all of the things that I learned now to appreciate as an adult and a shopper. After all of the years there, the only department that I did not work in was Mens!

After I came home from college for my student teaching, I realized that I needed something else besides putting clothes away, and that is when I asked Kathy Van Horn if she had any openings in the Salon. She said that she would get back to me and the rest was history. The salon was so different than the store, it was not work at all. It was chatting with clients and stylists, reading about products and fashion, helping customers find products, tracking our goals and productivity. It taught me a ton about business. The best part was, that a customer never left angry or mad. Sometimes there were tears, but luckily they were rarely directed at me (sorry girls...).

The saddest day was when we got the news that the Dundee store was closing. I had just gotten married a few months before, and I was 8 months pregnant with Reagan and I should have seen that as a sign to just quit and move on with my brand new family. But I truly loved my job and I did not want to give it up yet! I was fortunate enough to be offered a job at the Algonquin store and I was suppose to start right away after the Salon closed. Reagan had other plans, and was born two weeks early...not a great way to start off a relationship with a new manager, by taking an 8 week maternity leave. BUT it all worked out!

Ugly Christmas Sweater!

I thought for sure after we had our second baby, Braelyn, that my "career" at JCP would be over, as Tony, my husband, got offered a manager position an hour away from home.  But I was still not giving up! Many times I would get asked, "Why do you have two jobs? Being a teacher full time is a lot of work." It IS a lot of work, but making coffee, sweeping hair, filling product, cleaning shampoo bowls, ringing customers, making appointments, answering phones; that is not the pressure of lesson plans, or assessments, or parent phone calls, or kids that don't understand. It was my "get away" from that part of my life. Plus, who wouldn't want to hang out with a bunch of wonderful woman all day!

Our Beautiful Baby Shower for Braelyn

There are too many things to name that made me who I am because of this job. Patience for retail workers, restaurateurs, mechanics, phone operators, and any other person that has to work with the public. A confidence that with enough customer service, and patience, that you can relate to people on a personal scale; a skill that I use every day as a teacher and as a human being! Problem solving and multi-tasking, the "rush of a Saturday" in the salon will be missed, but I am sure that I will continue to use as a Mom and as a teacher. An understanding of keeping my own money and using it wisely. With my "JCP" money, I was able to pay and keep my first car, to keep gas in that car (so that I could drive down to U of I to visit Tony), to help save for our first house, to pay for our wedding, to feel comfortable having our first baby (and after that, babies), and to save up for our beautiful new house.

The Dundee Salon all empty!

I bet you are asking, "Why quit then, if you love it so much?". Well, a few reasons...but mainly it because it is not about me now. Reagan is to the point that she is understanding that I am going to work: she wants to be with Tony or I. As Tony also works in retail, he has to work Saturdays too. She is having birthday parties, and play dates, and I am having to say "no" because of my "selfish" reason to want to go to JCPenney and be with my friends. So, I just had to, I just couldn't DO this job to them anymore. As I have heard many times over that past few days "they are only this young once".

A few people that I have to thank for this journey! My friend Nicole, for bringing me to fill out applications. It's because of YOU!  Our parents, if not for them, this 17 year accomplishment would have been cut by 5, and they were always more than willing to spend their Saturdays with my darlings, so that I could go and "hang out" with my friends and do a job that I adored. My patient husband, who knew that he needed to be there for me today and came to the salon at 3 when I had to say goodbye to everyone. To all of the clients that we service, because you have been such a joy to work with, and make working with the "public" a wonderful experience for me. My wonderful "boss", Sheila, who has been so patient with my insane schedule and allowing me to continue on with this "hobby" of mine. She is an inspiration to this working Mom of two girls and I do hope that mine end up just like yours. To all of the amazing stylist in the salon that have not only been my co-workers, but my friends for many years. You have taught me to be a great wife, friend, co-worker, daughter, and Mom. You are all amazing at what you do and I will be honored to be a lifetime "client" at your salon now.

As, I shed my crocodile tears, I always remember one my favorite managers Jothie, saying "they always come back... they leave us to try new things and they always come back." Maybe that will be me...maybe one day I will come back. So it may not be "Goodbye, but,see you later"? I guess I will cross that bridge when I come to it.

A brick from the Old JCP