Are they just words?

Words like crybaby, flake, low life, low IQ, clown, dummy, phony, dopey, weird, slob and so many more, could all be accusations that are brought to me by 3rd graders on a daily basis. The way that I as a 3rd grade teacher handle this, is to bring student forward and have a chat about only using nice words to our friends at school. Usually at this point in the year, we have a whole class chat about how we need to treat our classmates with respect and that name calling is not the way to get what you want. We talk about how in fact, it make your classmates not want to be your friend, because who wants to be friends with a bully? And no, these words were not used by my 3rd graders, but were used by some top political officials.

I am at a cross point that I wonder if this seeming correct advice that I give my students is complete crap? Am I wrong, do adults get ahead in life by slinging insults to make other feel less then they should and this get what they want?  Do men and woman in board rooms scream "clown" across the room and miraculously everyone is willing to sign a million dollar deal?  At Best Buy, does a customer call my husband a "beaner" and all of  a sudden Mr. Hernandez gives them that television at the discount that they asked for? At United Airlines, does my mom give a customer that had problem with their flight a flying voucher because they call her a cunt?  Is that what I need to teach my students how to convince other to get what they want?

Why the hell would I vote for you?  You felt it was acceptable to re- posted on your personal Facebook from the Rotten Illinois Politicans page about "Jelly Butt Pritzker etc, etc, etc.". Even though I have never voted for a Republican in my life, I almost voted for you, because I thought you had some great ideas about how to make Elgin be successful. However, from what I observed you feel that insulting someones weight helps to prove your point about political issues. In my opinion, you need to work on having some better ideas to convince me to vote for you. Give me facts about your work, ways your going to bring jobs to Elgin, and make our downtown better, instead of criticizing someones weight...because you lost my vote with that irresponsible repost,  and I will work to let everyone I know not to vote for you either. Sorry not sorry, please be better.

I tell my students,if you are witnessing something that is not ok, you are just as guilty. If you do not speak up and say something, then you are guilty too. So when people ask my political opinion, I say that some people treat others in ways that I can not defend, and if I don't speak up an say something than I am just as guilty.  How can I preach one way to my students and own children, and then believe a different way in my leaders. Melania Trumps initiative is called #bebest. I will keep working on this initiative in my classroom to teach my students ab, out well-being and social media use and I hope that my friends, family, neighbors, co-workers, school districts, and elected officials will too. I will  be voting this year: I will vote for decency and kindness, no matter what your political party.

Do you know what Innovation is?

Maybe  I am naive, or hopeful, or maybe it's because I have entered down a dark rabbit hole and I am freckin' going back...

Have you seen the latest iPhone...I don't know what number they are on now, maybe like 13 or something, but point being that we don't have these anymore
... and thank god, because I don't think that brick does Snapchat...or even has the Dunkin Donuts app on it. Have you heard of Amazon? Did you know they are not popular for just books anymore? They have innovated their business to make it better for their customers....

See, companies have to make their products better, if they didn't then they would be out of business.  They are CONSTANTLY evolving, they have to. Why can't teachers evolve, why can't we ask our customers/students what they need and make it work for them? Why don't we ask our parents what they want to see from their child's classrooms? Students and parents are our customers, why don't we do what every business does and ask them. 56l

An Innovation Specialist is a teacher, that works within schools to  help teachers create lessons engaging, real world, hands on, "techie", collaborative, project based, community involved and FUN! When my 3rd grade students need to understand why we have to learn multiplication, we can create a  hands on project that requires them to create their dream house with game rooms and luxurious bedrooms with pools in them, and 5 car garages. We can then use the tiles on the floor to show square feet and discuss how they can use that measurement to map out their 40 x 200 foot bathroom. Then we have them use centimeter grid paper to shrink down their mansion to fit onto a poster paper. We then have them decorate their house with expensive furniture that they researched on the internet with only a budget of $10000. After that they might understand the purpose of multiplication

If they are hesitant to learn their multiplication tables,we can create a land of wizards, that earn shields, satchels, wands, wizard hats, crowns, and wings for every multiplication table they conquer. With this simple change, we can get even the most reluctant math students to be begging to be  We can teach elections not by reading about them in the newspaper, but by creating a real life caucus. We can fund raise for our field trip by creating a business plan with advertising, and charts, and calculations to show them how math and speaking and listening and writing are all connected.  The problem with all of these projects is that there is just not enough time between the follow up phone calls to parents, the chat in the hallway with lunch monitors, planning supply list for next year, the interventions, the grading giving of test, the grading of test, the recess duty, the PTO meetings, and on and on, and on.

This position that was almost, is my DREAM job, it's what I know that I am made for. Last spring and summer, I was fortunate to teach a class called Innovation Inside the Box, which district teachers took to be able to learn about ways that they could be innovative in their classroom lessons. It was so amazing to see that teachers sometimes just didn't know where to start, they were afraid that they couldn't align the standards to these projects, and that they had to read their lessons out of the manual. It was incredible to see their projects that they created to make their classrooms interactive and exciting not just for their students but for them too. I wish that I could have been with them to help and adjust and give feedback right there while they were teaching, that is what an innovation specialist can do.

I know what you are thinking, this does not sound like what would happen in a school, but maybe what would happen in a business when a consult comes in to spark some ideas and give feedback, you are absolutely correct and why not?  Teachers need to learn, and collaborate, and reach out, and create too; just like a business does.

A perfect classroom to me, is a classroom where students are working in groups, making...something, maybe it is a poster, a cardboard marble run, a map of their new land, an online game they created,  a math project that uses real world problems, interacting and collaborating with students across town on a project via their laptops, graphs with data they collected for their writing pieces, etc, etc, etc, and of course there is more that I don't even know about YET!

The problem with this new position is that our Learning Resource Directors positions were in jeopardy. Now, before we get on a debate about libraries/librarians being obsolete, I have to say that I am not NOT anti-library or anti-librarian. If you have ever read the brochure, or walked into the most beautiful library in the world, Gail Borden in Elgin, you will see that this is not a place to be quite and read books. Those librarians have created a magical world of everything that the families of Elgin could ever dream of. There are games, their are robots, their are computers, their are STEAM activities, their is crafts, a creativity lab, their is a 3D printer, their are movies, there are diversity seminars...this library has evolved, just like that iPhone 19. We need to be better and although our new district plan is start, it is still missing that teacher collaboration piece that elementary school teachers need.

A perfect classroom to me, is a classroom where students are working in groups, making...something... maybe it is a poster, a cardboard marble run, a map of their new land, an online game they created, a math project that uses real world problems, interacting and collaborating with students across town on a project via their laptops, graphs with data they collected for their writing pieces, etc, etc, etc, and of course there is more that I don't even know about YET!

Even if I were not to get my dream job, I NEED this position in my building. I need some someone to bounce ideas off of, someone to throw the Hail Mary to and then get feedback from, someone that has some time beyond emailing parents about missing lunches, to create "stuff" and would also have the time to align my crazy ideas to a standard or more, and be able to justify the lessons with test data. Teachers are busy, and we all want to do better, but especially in the elementary school there is just not enough time.

Best Summer EVER!

Ever since we had Reagan, I have staked that that summer was the best ever, but every summer does just keep getting better and better! I feel that every summer, I get my Mama Mojo and we take on more and more kid adventures. Every year Tony gives me a huge eye roll when I ask "what do you want to do this summer?" I guess I don't blame him...                                                        

Swimming at Lords Park Pool

 I tell people all of the time that I have the best job in the world. Teaching is very rewarding and I truly love it. I can't complain...I get about 4 months a year off People! Let's not lie, I have earned it! When the summer comes, I do feel that full relaxation of not "working", even if I did work 17 full days this summer, which is a lot in teacher world I like to call summertime for teachers, "working lite", because I can't help but check my emails, or my Twitter, or pin 500  teacher ideas on Pinterest. I can't complain about "working lite" because it gives me some time to reflect too.

Aunties

Primrose Farm

In the summer, I can stay up late, I can make plans on a weeknight, I can do my grocery shopping anytime I want, I can binge watch the Today show till 10am, while drinking 2, yes 2 cups of coffee, and the best part...I can pee when ever the hell that I want to! (This is a true teacher problem!) This summer, I probably should have done more reading, and working out, and more library trips, and more healthy cooking, and more cleaning of the house. AND... I think that I spent a little too much time drinking wine,  and snapchatting, and watching the Bachlorette, and I probably ate way too much guacamole, and let Reagan spend too much time on the iPad, and spent too much money, but we lived life too! 

Molly Swimming in the Fox River

Ears Pierced!

Prior summers were fun, but I feel that I was either pregnant, breastfeeding, worrying about nap schedules, or working my two other jobs. This summer, we still consider the naps because they are ESSENTIAL! But now, Braelyn is finally potty trained, and I am able to throw them some fruit snacks, and juice boxes and we are off for our adventures. They are both at such a curious age and I feel that they can actually appreciate all of the hard work that goes into these adventures. Other summers, we would lug everything to the zoo. You parents know; stroller, sunscreen, breast pump, 40 diapers, wipes, bottles, snacks, formula powder, baby water, 3 tops, 3 bottoms, umbrella, 50 toys, 2 sunhats, and the babies! Then, when do you leave? Nap is at 10-12, then there is the 3-4 nap, then bed time, but we don't want to sit in rush hour traffic, but we have to be back for bottle number 5 cause we have no more milk! (Sorry Casey...) All that so that we could say we were being "great parents" and "taking our kids out for these "grand" experiences"...how foolish we were to think that they would remember even a bit of all of that, or all of the preparation that we did! 

Cousin Love!

Jammie Walk

First Fire in our Firepit!

Camping for one night! 

White Sox Game

I am going to try to enjoy these summers because I know that in not too many years, my girls will not want to go to the zoo, or to the farm, or to the movie in the park, or camping in the living room. Just like all well-rounded pre-teenagers/teenagers they will want us to take some expensive airplane ride to some white beach far away, so that they can put headphones on, and try to ignore that we are their parents. I know soon enough that there will be summers that it will just be Tony and I going to the zoo again, because they will be working, or off with their friends, or moved out. I want to enjoy this time now.  So till that day comes, I will continue to make lists every summer that we want to accomplish, and I will try not to forget "Tony and I time" in those adventures, and we will do our best to check them off because sometimes the list doesn't get completely checked off.

New Ferris Wheel at Navy Pier

Baba and Grandpa

Touch the Pacific!

4th of July Parade

Beauty and the Beast at Festival Park

This summer was unique. I think that I reflected a lot about living life to the fullest! I wanted this summer to be about "Carpe Diem". I want to enjoy my children, my husband, my family, our friends. This summer solidified that we love our little family of 4, and as much as I cherish all of the beautiful babies that we get to love in our life, that "my" babies will always be in these two spunky little girls that we have been blessed with. Unfortunately,"the best summer ever" is almost over. Thank you to everyone that joined us on these crazy adventures, and let me know what you want us to put on the list for next year!

Swimmin' time!

Date Night at ENLL

Anniversary Dinner

Uncle Bret's Baseball Game

Strawberry Picking

Boat Races

An Ode to Strong Woman

Does being a strong woman mean that you are a bitch? Maybe it is, but if being this strong woman means that I get to be part of a group of amazing grandmas, moms, sisters, aunts, cousins, and friends than I guess I will stay in this bitchy/strong woman group. This might seem all great and wonderful, however this group is very complex. This group can shock me; piss me off, amaze me; inspire me; make me laugh; make me stream in hate, and makes me who I am.

I always struggle with being a strong woman, because I use to think that it meant that you had to be really athletic, and always play with boys. I think even in middle school I didn’t want to even be a girl. I would always wear my Dad’s sports shirts, so that I could try to be at least “girlie” as possible. As I have become older and a wife and a teacher, and a mom. I want for my theme of being a strong woman to show in many ways. I like to be around strong woman, I like to do things like dance in the kitchen and go down scary water slides, to show the world that I can still be a girl; but not be afraid to be brave and strong, and scared, and nervous, and mean, and sappy, and loving, and strict, and myself. I know that when I wake up every morning I want to be a strong model for those eyes that are always watching me, sometime there are four eyes, and sometime there are more!

Our family had another grandma loss this week. Tony's grandma Toni, passed away, and I would definitely consider her a member of this strong woman club that I get to belong to. She was a spunky soul that surly learned a lot from raising 5 kids. There are too many stories to tell, but even though her English was not very good, she always tried her best to say a caring word or just be all together. She loved her family, and for that I will continue to be inspired by her. She will truly be missed, but I know that her soul carries on with the incredible family that I get to be part of.

My own grandmother was a strong woman. She is my inspiration. She was much less "judgy" then me. She tried to understand things before she made a decision. She was stubborn, but she knew what she wanted and that was that. She always loved to read and learn. She always told me never to say “hate” about anyone, no matter what. My Baba was just as strong, but more on the stubborn part. She would actually tell others what she thought of them, which surly got her in trouble. She was ambitious though, she survived a German work camp during WW2, but strived to make her life better in America. For that persistence, I will always be grateful for the sacrifices that she made for a better life. Both my grandmas were amazingly hard workers, that must be where I get that from.

This theme with strong woman continues in ALL of my Mamas! My own mom was feared, and probably still is, in our neighborhood growing up. She doesn't F around, but is still loving and caring and would do anything for us. I remember in elementary school being mortified cause she once stopped the car and broke up some kids fighting in the middle of the side walk. Funny thing is, that is ME! As an adult, I would have done the same thing! The kids at Corron Elementary school know when MRS. HERNANDEZ is coming! Tony's Mom persisted. She had 3 kids and would do anything for them! ANYTHING! She still does! She reminds me to be more compassionate to my own children, and sometimes I need that. She reminds me that no matter what, your children are always your babies and you will do whatever you can to be there for them. Judi, Tony's stepmom, shows me that you can have a balance, you can be a great mom, and still be a great worker, but keep your family, your home, your friends. This is important part of being a strong woman...otherwise you can't be!

Friends are where I get to keep my balance. Sometimes our adventures are park play dates, sometimes "girls night out", sometimes it is mini-vacas! My friends inspire me to be a better wife, mom, employee, and friend. We bounce I think we would all agree that more time could be spent together, but we all do what we can. I am so lucky that all of these people that I get to call my friends (and even sister, or sister in laws). We are all on this journey to strong womanhood, as they are all there for me in many different ways and I hope that I am there for them too.

Being a strong woman can get you in a ton of trouble sometimes, because you are not afraid to say and do what you think is right, even when you are wrong. All of these people inspire me, and as we get to reflect on our loss of a matriarch this weekend, I am grateful that I got to call her Grandma, and that her efforts will not go unnoticed in this family. I strive to be, and continue to show examples of strong woman for my daughters. We surly need someone to carry on this bitchiness!

Go Grandma Go!

Everyone’s Grandma is the “best Grandma in the world” I will not deny this. Grandmas forgive you no matter what, they give you candy, and hugs, and presents, and play with you. It’s not that parents don’t love you, or want to spend time with you, it is that they are just “busy”. They have to fold laundry, or make dinner, or clean the house. Grandparents have plenty of time for those daily things while the grandchildren are away, and when the grandchildren are there, their undivided attention is on them.

I think that my grandma had a very special relationship with each of her grand kids. Orion was the first one, so she loved him to the moon and back, as every first grandchild gets this special love. I was the first girl, so she got to spoil me with dolls and tea parties. Casey and Bret were almost twins, and she was always having to keep them entertained and busy, otherwise they would surely cause trouble. James and Eric, were the next set of “twins”, and with them she was starting to get older, but I think she had being a “grandma” down to the science by then. Reagan and Braelyn were simply spoiled rotten, she snuck them candy and treats non-stop and they just adored here. She was proud of every single one of us, no matter what our place was in life. I never heard her say one judgmental thing about any of us. Her advice was never one of judgement or of  “this is what you should do”. All of us continued to visit with her and check in, cause she was always “different” than our parents. Parents have to give you advice to steer you in the “right direction”. Grandparents don’t need to. They leave that advice to their children and they are just there to listen.

The first time I knew that I knew that my grandma was not judgmental was the first time that she found out that I smoked a cigarette at a middle school party. My luck, I got caught, and probably the worst punishment to me was that my parents told my Grandma what had happened. She asked me “So I heard that you smoked a cigarette?”.  I could not even look her in the eye, cause I was blinking back big, fat tears of shame. Honestly, I am not even sure why I was so ashamed, because she herself  had smoked since she was 17 and so did my Dad. It was the fact that I thought she was disappointed in me. She gave the “so what” look that she gives, and said “Oh well, we all tried it”. I was shocked, I thought I was going to hear the same speech that my parents had given me about trust and responsibility, but she didn’t. Grandparents are different.

In College, every time my mom would call me, I thought,” this is it...this is the “call”. It was my Mom calling to tell me that either our dog Sammy had died, or my Grandma had. Every. Single. Time. So when she was just calling to ask me how my day was, or to update me on something else, I always gave a huge sigh of relief. Luckily, this “call” never happened for either situation while I was in college. This week, I got that call during the day from my Mom…

Almost every single weekend, the girls and I go and visit my Grandma. The past two week have been very busy at the Hernandez house. I went to Florida with my friends two weeks ago, and the following weekend was birthday parties and a Hernandez Family outings. So I had not seen my Grandma for two weeks, since Easter. It was not a weird feeling, but some sort of force that gently  told me to go Monday after school. I had laundry, and dinner to make, and school work to do, but for some weird reason it did not matter. I knew that it would be a short visit, because she went to dinner at 4:30. I left school at 3:20, picked up Braelyn and we took the 15 minute drive over there. It was a regular visit with Grandma.  Braelyn raided the cookie tin, and I told Grandma I would make her some more Chocolate Chip cookies cause she finished the ones that I made her for her Birthday. She said they were good to help her swallow down her pills with. I always pepper her with some sort of question that pops in my brain during the course of the week, and this time my question was,

“Grandma, why did you never remarry?”

She said “Well, I went to a singles dance once, but it was awkward and there were men on one side and woman on the other, and I was not one to just go over and ask someone. I never really felt the need, and I figured if it happened, it happened.”  

We chatted a bit more about my week and my vacation away. I asked her if anyone died this week and how things were going with the new woman at her dinner table.

I  think I will always feel bad that my last deep question to her was about her love life. But that question made me think of what a strong, independent woman that she was. That night, strangely I went home and wrote my lesson plan for my 5th graders Memoir, about my Grandma and how she is my inspiration for a strong woman...again weird that I had done that and shared it with my class the very next day. Energy works in mysterious ways, and in this case it happened two times.

Literally about an hour after I did that lesson, I got a phone call from my Mom at school. I rushed into the hallway to answer it and I hoped that it was my Mom forgetting that I was at work, but unfortunately not.

“ Tan, your grandmother is in the hospital, they found her unresponsive in her room”

“Are you fucking kidding me?”

“No, I am not.” as I am sure that my Mom would not call and "joke" about this.

“Ok, I am on my way”

After, I blinked out tears all the way to the office, asking if someone could watch my class and luckily it all worked out. I drove as fast at the Ford Fusion could get me to Hoffman Estates.

The best part about my Grandma's passing, is that my family honestly have the best days together leading up to her death on Friday. All those stories that I had heard over my life, were crammed into a hospital room and shared out loud with my Grandma right there with us. Not a whole lot of tears, but a whole lot of laughing. As we sat around my Grandma, I felt she could hear us and I am sure if she could, that she would just kind of give a little chuckle and a half eye roll, as she always did. Now that she is gone, we will not be able to pop into visit to ask her those questions, but now we will have to ask each other, or can improvise them.

I know that these next few months will be tricky for me, cause those questions are going to keep popping my head like they have over the past 35 years and I will have to ask someone else besides my Grandma. Sundays will be strange, cause what will Reagan, and Braelyn, and I do now? I think we will try to do things that she would like us to do, like play ball outside, or go for a walk, or go to the library, or dig in the garden, or read to one another. As we celebrated her life today, I realized that those answers to my questions will be inside of my family. We all loved her to the Moon and Back and it will never be the same, cause Grandmas are just different.

Not everyone has to go to college?

The worst thing that I can think of in a high school is "College Day". This is the day, that all the Seniors and Staff member wear the shirt of the college that they are committed to, or for the teachers, what college they attended. On that glorious College Day, where the teacher and administration can beam with pride about what a wonderful job they have done to move these bright individuals onto bigger, better, (and more expensive) schools. There is a large group of students not committed to their lifelong careers at the young age of 18.  Do you see all those "smart kids" wearing their $65 Northwestern, or University of Illinois sweatshirts, and I bet there is even some kids wearing their $65 Elgin Community College sweatshirt too? When you walk into the Special Ed class, do those kids have on their college sweatshirts?  What about that kid that is the smartest in the bunch, but their parents can't afford to send them to college at all, so they are "going to work for awhile and see what happens"? What about that girl walking in the hallway 3 months pregnant that certainly doesn't know where she will be even in a year, but it probably won't be doing keg stands at the College Frat party. What about that kid that freckin hates school because they were never really motivated with “school”. Do you think they are going to college?

For me, I always wanted to be a teacher. When I was in 4th grade, I knew what I wanted to do. It was rare that at 10 years old, I continued my commitment to that profession. My parents had vocational school and some community college, so they never pushed me either way. I was not the smartest kid in class, but I was a hard worker, B's and some C's were my comfort zone. I was personally motivated, and if going to college was the way to becoming a teacher, then so be it. For MANY, 17 to 18 years old is WAY too early to commit to your forever life long dreams.. How in the world are you suppose to know at that young age what you want to be...forever!  It's almost impossible.

A young man at 18 years old was the smartest of the bunch. He was in the Academically Talented Math program all the way from elementary school, he took all of the AT classes, he got all A's and was one of the top students in the graduating class. He committed to University of Illinois for engineering and was rewarded so many scholarships, that the Senior Recognition assembly was laughable because he was constantly called up. He and his fellow U of I friends sat at lunch with the rest, and picked out dorm assignments and dressed occasionally in the U of I attire, while the rest rolled their eyes. His family and friends were so proud of him.  He went to College that fall and guess what...he wasn't the smartest in the class anymore. He had to do something new...study. Why was the smartest in the bunch surprised by this? Maybe it was because he was never truly challenged in high school? Maybe he didn't want to be an engineer and wanted to be a policeman instead? Maybe he wanted to have fun more than study? Maybe he spent too much time with his High School girlfriend? Maybe because he was "smart" and liked numbers, that being an engineer was a logical push for a kid like that. I don't know. He did end up getting about a semester away from graduating from U of I with a degree in Engineering, but never finished and never went back to school.

My husband works damn hard, we take care of our family, we have nice things, we are happy. Sometimes we talk about "what if he had graduated and gotten an engineering job?" Maybe we would have nicer cars, and a bigger house, and more kids. But maybe we would also be unhappy. Who knows? A constant cringe worthy moment that happens often is when someone asks him or I, "What do you/your husband do for a living?" We refrain from saying "He works for Best Buy." We now say "He/I am a manager at Best Buy." It has a certain distinguishable twang to it, so people don't think that he is ringing up 18 year old kids buying the lastest and greatest Halo game, although he does that sometime too. The problem is that he, and I, are not always "proud" of saying his job; even though he makes more money than I do, even with two degrees that I am still paying for. My question is, why are people sometimes made to feel less worthy because of the way that they provide for their families? Just because someone does not go, or graduate, from college does not mean that they are stupid, or lazy, or unmotivated. My husband is none of these.

Do not get me wrong, there are so many benefits of going to college. I think the biggest one was of going out and being on my own. I had to find a way to eat, to make money, to be on time, to study, to get decent grades, to find a way home for Christmas, to meet others that don't think like I do, to problem solve, to find money for drinks on Saturday nights. All of these things, except for the drinks, has made me a better teacher. College certainly had it benefits. Being a teachers, it does makes sense that if I was going to educated others, that I needed to be as fully educated as possible.

We have many friends/family that own their own businesses, work for amazing companies, or have/had long term careers; and they never went to college. They didn't have their "College Day" celebration in High School. Was it because the could not get into college, I am certain that was not the reason. I am sure they all had different motivations for not choosing to go to college. Maybe it was even just " I didn't want to go." Does that make their teachers proud of them? Is there a box that they check off “Check... they went to college, success!” Cause as far as I can tell they are all taxpaying, productive members of society, isn't that all we want out of our fellow citizens right?

So, I can bitch and moan about education's faults, and their lack of empathy, but that is not helpful to anyone. What can I do right now at a 5th grade teacher in suburban Chicago? Maybe, I can tell kids that I am proud of their growth, no matter where they started; I can tell them that they worked hard today; I can encourage creativeness in hands-on projects, and building, and art, and cooking, and caring for others. I can tell their parents about the skills that I notice from them, and give them ideas about ways that they can encourage these skills at home. I can encourage them to problem solve, to think independently, to look me in the eye when they talk to me, to say "Good Morning, and Have a nice day". I will remind them about not putting their heads on their desk, and to be proud of the work that they turn in. Most importantly, I will tell them that no matter where they go, hard work does not go unnoticed. I will remind them of these things, because these are not questions on the final exam for graduating college. They are life skills that EVERYONE needs to be able to get a job, and keep it...any job.

I can also refrain from telling them that they can "All go to College" because that's a bunch of damn garbage. Just because you CAN go to college, that does not mean that you should. Every job in the world has a purpose, and not everyone is going to be the CEO. We need mail clerks, and garbage collectors, and snow plowers, and roofers, and hairdressers, and plumbers, and electricians, and painters, and Best Buy managers. These are all amazing jobs, that take hard work and commitment. So...what can middle and high schools do to encourage these vocational jobs into their classes, along with the engineering, science, and math? After all, we are educating all, remember? What are companies doing to recruit students out of high school that don't need to go to college, because their careers requires experience and training. Also, are we doing a good enough job with critical thinking skills in High School to provide the non-college students a strong enough base of thinking that can take them throughout life.

In about 12 years, when our girls turn 17 and it's time to talk about college, we will talk about hard work, and commitment, and the expense. We will try to find out what they really want to do with their lives, and we will talk about how 17 and 18 is very young to make such a large commitment. We will talk about the real life experiences that we had to deal with while at college. But, we will also point out the many examples of family and friends, that never went to college, but still lead successful and happy lives. We will encourage, but not pressure them to go to college, and hope that they make that best decision for themselves.

A New World?

11/13/16

Wednesday morning at 3:30am, I woke from a not full sleep. I grabbed my phone and typed in Electoral College Map. First thing that pops up is "Donald J. Trump won the Presidency". Fuck You Google...what do you know!   I feel asleep at 10:30, knowing that that was probably going to be the case, but I did not want to believe it. I tossed and turned till about 5am and then just decided to get it over with and wake up and face this new reality.

I hesitantly jumped on Facebook. The first article that pops up was "What to tell your kids?" Then I lost it, I sobbed as if I had just lost my best friend; What was I going to tell my kids...not my children...my students? How was I going to get up in front of them today and say a nice thing about our next President? How would I say that no matter what, we have to support our leader? My mind was a swirl of emotions; shock, disbelief, fear, nervousness, anger. I didn't know the answer to "Why?"

Going home that night, after literally blinking out tears all day, I did not want to even turn on the news, but I felt that I HAD to, I needed answers now cause I still had no understanding as to the why, yet? Quite honestly, I needed answers from the media as to how they royally fucked this up, since they had been saying from the beginning that this was a "no brainer". Tony got home, and I needed to process, but he did not want to even talk about it. He text me earlier in the day saying "I still can't believe it", but I think that was his way to show me he was done with the whole thing. The news had no "sorry we fucked this up", but it did show the protesters in Chicago, Seattle, New York,on that first night and my heart sang. I was so relieve that I was clearly not the only one in complete shock. This was only the first night and things did not get a crazy as they had gotten over the following days since then.

After the kids went to bed, I went on Facebook to find answers...not a great source, but clearly all of America was on Facebook that night. I still felt like I had gotten punched in the stomach and I wanted almost affrimation that this was totally how it was going to go and I was just losing my damn mind. I was not alone in my thinking and calming to hear others grief too.  I saw celebrations, boasts, certainty of this result, but then others with similar perspectives to me; shock, anger, fear, disbelief. Some had compared this day to 9/11 and I feel that is a bit dramatic, but my "shock" is in that area of emotions.

From my isolated, naive, suburban white woman perspective, I like America just the way it is. Since Obama took presidency, I have gotten married, had two kids, Tony got promoted, we bought a beautiful new house...we are fucking happy! I also am truly proud that LGBT rights have been respected over these 8 years, I actually like Common Core in education, and I am happy with how the economy is going. Why would I want to change that? But obviously, not everyone is happy...and that is what I am/was set out to figure out.

Someone posted an amazing article; one of about twenty that I read that day. The article compared American to the Hunger Games, and other "hero" movies like Star Wars, and Braveheart. The analogy compared the "Empire"/"Capital"/Urban areas compared to the "Districts"/Rural areas. I felt that I had found my answer, that was it! Yeah...my hope to figure this mess out! It fits into a nice, little blue box all ready to be fixed up and solved...maybe? Just Maybe? Perhaps, people in rural areas feel treated unfairly by America, because they don't have the opportunities that we have in the Urban areas. That's it! That is the answer! I have been so fortunate to have 35 years of a suburban, white, upper-middle class life. I am ever grateful for it, but this almost perfect life has also kept me isolated to how others outside of this might live. I am not saying that it was all delivered on a silver platter, I worked hard, but the opportunities were available.

But then there are my friends, yes you... that ruined my happy little answer for why this happened. These are my really close friends too, we raise our children together, we vacation together, we talk politics, and I value their opinions and enjoy hearing their perspectives. Almost all of them voted for Trump. What... the...royal... hell...am... I... missing!  They didn't grow up in rural American. They grew up down the street from me, we rode our bikes together, we played on the same sports teams, we went to college together....WTF? I guess they don't fit into a box, just like I don't fit into a box. This week, I told my dear friends them that I love them all, but ...I need some time. I will try to seek clarity from them, and they will patiently let me pepper them with questions, and I will try to understand their perspective...but now it's too soon. No matter what happens, I will never say "I told you so", it must be a "Now I see your side".

You see, my anger is not with the Republican Party. Tony and I actually have a lot that we agree with that are "Republican Values". Republicans and Democrats are in the exact same spot...they both need to change. From my perspective, they didn't even want Trump. But people liked him for his "say it how it is" attitude. He is going to make changes, and that's what people want. My problem is the person, the person that I will have to listen to for 4/8 more years. I don't want to be embarrassed by my president.  They say he's a smart businessman, an innovator, a motivator...I think he's an asshole. He's your drunk, racist uncle, that you can't tell to shut the fuck up, cause your mom will get pissed at you. He's a dick...and how the hell am I suppose to go to school and tell my students, and my own kids one day, that this fucker, is a leader that we need to look up to and support. Are you out of your ever loving mind?  Again, it's not the Republicans fault  it's that they also got backed into a corner with a crap candidate, but they just happened to come up on top...barely by the way.

My revelation this week, is that I see/hear things on FB and Twitter, and in the news, and talking to people, but I am isolated. to this "bubble" of a life.  I saw and heard, but I did not actually LISTEN. I thought they were all "crazy", and dismissed it like a fly, thinking "there is no way that will ever happen". My goal is to stop seeing and hearing, and start LISTENING, and to engage in conversations. I always feel the hard part is that sometimes when you question peoples thinking, they take offense. How can I question other people to get their opinions, without them thinking that I am a bitch, cause I always seem to come off that way? My friends and family are more patient with my questions cause they know that I am not trying to hurt them. I need to have conversations that will build me up to be a well rounded thinker, and one that can empathize with others. Cause maybe then I won't be so blind sided.

So I started the first step of my LISTENING goal today by going to see my Dad. He has not voted since Nixon, and he told me last week that he voted for Trump. My mom called him an idiot, and we laughed it off. This week, my mom told me to just stay away from him, but I couldn't help it. He knows how upset I am, and with tears in my eyes I said  "Why did you vote for him?" With a straight face and a pause of hesitation, he said  "Cause I think he'll do a good job." With that, I have to believe what my Dad says, he has never steered me wrong, and that is my new belief...that he will do a  good job. I have to believe that...cause that Canadian waiting list is way too long! ;-)