Best Summer EVER!

Ever since we had Reagan, I have staked that that summer was the best ever, but every summer does just keep getting better and better! I feel that every summer, I get my Mama Mojo and we take on more and more kid adventures. Every year Tony gives me a huge eye roll when I ask "what do you want to do this summer?" I guess I don't blame him...                                                        

Swimming at Lords Park Pool

 I tell people all of the time that I have the best job in the world. Teaching is very rewarding and I truly love it. I can't complain...I get about 4 months a year off People! Let's not lie, I have earned it! When the summer comes, I do feel that full relaxation of not "working", even if I did work 17 full days this summer, which is a lot in teacher world I like to call summertime for teachers, "working lite", because I can't help but check my emails, or my Twitter, or pin 500  teacher ideas on Pinterest. I can't complain about "working lite" because it gives me some time to reflect too.

Aunties

Primrose Farm

In the summer, I can stay up late, I can make plans on a weeknight, I can do my grocery shopping anytime I want, I can binge watch the Today show till 10am, while drinking 2, yes 2 cups of coffee, and the best part...I can pee when ever the hell that I want to! (This is a true teacher problem!) This summer, I probably should have done more reading, and working out, and more library trips, and more healthy cooking, and more cleaning of the house. AND... I think that I spent a little too much time drinking wine,  and snapchatting, and watching the Bachlorette, and I probably ate way too much guacamole, and let Reagan spend too much time on the iPad, and spent too much money, but we lived life too! 

Molly Swimming in the Fox River

Ears Pierced!

Prior summers were fun, but I feel that I was either pregnant, breastfeeding, worrying about nap schedules, or working my two other jobs. This summer, we still consider the naps because they are ESSENTIAL! But now, Braelyn is finally potty trained, and I am able to throw them some fruit snacks, and juice boxes and we are off for our adventures. They are both at such a curious age and I feel that they can actually appreciate all of the hard work that goes into these adventures. Other summers, we would lug everything to the zoo. You parents know; stroller, sunscreen, breast pump, 40 diapers, wipes, bottles, snacks, formula powder, baby water, 3 tops, 3 bottoms, umbrella, 50 toys, 2 sunhats, and the babies! Then, when do you leave? Nap is at 10-12, then there is the 3-4 nap, then bed time, but we don't want to sit in rush hour traffic, but we have to be back for bottle number 5 cause we have no more milk! (Sorry Casey...) All that so that we could say we were being "great parents" and "taking our kids out for these "grand" experiences"...how foolish we were to think that they would remember even a bit of all of that, or all of the preparation that we did! 

Cousin Love!

Jammie Walk

First Fire in our Firepit!

Camping for one night! 

White Sox Game

I am going to try to enjoy these summers because I know that in not too many years, my girls will not want to go to the zoo, or to the farm, or to the movie in the park, or camping in the living room. Just like all well-rounded pre-teenagers/teenagers they will want us to take some expensive airplane ride to some white beach far away, so that they can put headphones on, and try to ignore that we are their parents. I know soon enough that there will be summers that it will just be Tony and I going to the zoo again, because they will be working, or off with their friends, or moved out. I want to enjoy this time now.  So till that day comes, I will continue to make lists every summer that we want to accomplish, and I will try not to forget "Tony and I time" in those adventures, and we will do our best to check them off because sometimes the list doesn't get completely checked off.

New Ferris Wheel at Navy Pier

Baba and Grandpa

Touch the Pacific!

4th of July Parade

Beauty and the Beast at Festival Park

This summer was unique. I think that I reflected a lot about living life to the fullest! I wanted this summer to be about "Carpe Diem". I want to enjoy my children, my husband, my family, our friends. This summer solidified that we love our little family of 4, and as much as I cherish all of the beautiful babies that we get to love in our life, that "my" babies will always be in these two spunky little girls that we have been blessed with. Unfortunately,"the best summer ever" is almost over. Thank you to everyone that joined us on these crazy adventures, and let me know what you want us to put on the list for next year!

Swimmin' time!

Date Night at ENLL

Anniversary Dinner

Uncle Bret's Baseball Game

Strawberry Picking

Boat Races

An Ode to Strong Woman

Does being a strong woman mean that you are a bitch? Maybe it is, but if being this strong woman means that I get to be part of a group of amazing grandmas, moms, sisters, aunts, cousins, and friends than I guess I will stay in this bitchy/strong woman group. This might seem all great and wonderful, however this group is very complex. This group can shock me; piss me off, amaze me; inspire me; make me laugh; make me stream in hate, and makes me who I am.

I always struggle with being a strong woman, because I use to think that it meant that you had to be really athletic, and always play with boys. I think even in middle school I didn’t want to even be a girl. I would always wear my Dad’s sports shirts, so that I could try to be at least “girlie” as possible. As I have become older and a wife and a teacher, and a mom. I want for my theme of being a strong woman to show in many ways. I like to be around strong woman, I like to do things like dance in the kitchen and go down scary water slides, to show the world that I can still be a girl; but not be afraid to be brave and strong, and scared, and nervous, and mean, and sappy, and loving, and strict, and myself. I know that when I wake up every morning I want to be a strong model for those eyes that are always watching me, sometime there are four eyes, and sometime there are more!

Our family had another grandma loss this week. Tony's grandma Toni, passed away, and I would definitely consider her a member of this strong woman club that I get to belong to. She was a spunky soul that surly learned a lot from raising 5 kids. There are too many stories to tell, but even though her English was not very good, she always tried her best to say a caring word or just be all together. She loved her family, and for that I will continue to be inspired by her. She will truly be missed, but I know that her soul carries on with the incredible family that I get to be part of.

My own grandmother was a strong woman. She is my inspiration. She was much less "judgy" then me. She tried to understand things before she made a decision. She was stubborn, but she knew what she wanted and that was that. She always loved to read and learn. She always told me never to say “hate” about anyone, no matter what. My Baba was just as strong, but more on the stubborn part. She would actually tell others what she thought of them, which surly got her in trouble. She was ambitious though, she survived a German work camp during WW2, but strived to make her life better in America. For that persistence, I will always be grateful for the sacrifices that she made for a better life. Both my grandmas were amazingly hard workers, that must be where I get that from.

This theme with strong woman continues in ALL of my Mamas! My own mom was feared, and probably still is, in our neighborhood growing up. She doesn't F around, but is still loving and caring and would do anything for us. I remember in elementary school being mortified cause she once stopped the car and broke up some kids fighting in the middle of the side walk. Funny thing is, that is ME! As an adult, I would have done the same thing! The kids at Corron Elementary school know when MRS. HERNANDEZ is coming! Tony's Mom persisted. She had 3 kids and would do anything for them! ANYTHING! She still does! She reminds me to be more compassionate to my own children, and sometimes I need that. She reminds me that no matter what, your children are always your babies and you will do whatever you can to be there for them. Judi, Tony's stepmom, shows me that you can have a balance, you can be a great mom, and still be a great worker, but keep your family, your home, your friends. This is important part of being a strong woman...otherwise you can't be!

Friends are where I get to keep my balance. Sometimes our adventures are park play dates, sometimes "girls night out", sometimes it is mini-vacas! My friends inspire me to be a better wife, mom, employee, and friend. We bounce I think we would all agree that more time could be spent together, but we all do what we can. I am so lucky that all of these people that I get to call my friends (and even sister, or sister in laws). We are all on this journey to strong womanhood, as they are all there for me in many different ways and I hope that I am there for them too.

Being a strong woman can get you in a ton of trouble sometimes, because you are not afraid to say and do what you think is right, even when you are wrong. All of these people inspire me, and as we get to reflect on our loss of a matriarch this weekend, I am grateful that I got to call her Grandma, and that her efforts will not go unnoticed in this family. I strive to be, and continue to show examples of strong woman for my daughters. We surly need someone to carry on this bitchiness!

Go Grandma Go!

Everyone’s Grandma is the “best Grandma in the world” I will not deny this. Grandmas forgive you no matter what, they give you candy, and hugs, and presents, and play with you. It’s not that parents don’t love you, or want to spend time with you, it is that they are just “busy”. They have to fold laundry, or make dinner, or clean the house. Grandparents have plenty of time for those daily things while the grandchildren are away, and when the grandchildren are there, their undivided attention is on them.

I think that my grandma had a very special relationship with each of her grand kids. Orion was the first one, so she loved him to the moon and back, as every first grandchild gets this special love. I was the first girl, so she got to spoil me with dolls and tea parties. Casey and Bret were almost twins, and she was always having to keep them entertained and busy, otherwise they would surely cause trouble. James and Eric, were the next set of “twins”, and with them she was starting to get older, but I think she had being a “grandma” down to the science by then. Reagan and Braelyn were simply spoiled rotten, she snuck them candy and treats non-stop and they just adored here. She was proud of every single one of us, no matter what our place was in life. I never heard her say one judgmental thing about any of us. Her advice was never one of judgement or of  “this is what you should do”. All of us continued to visit with her and check in, cause she was always “different” than our parents. Parents have to give you advice to steer you in the “right direction”. Grandparents don’t need to. They leave that advice to their children and they are just there to listen.

The first time I knew that I knew that my grandma was not judgmental was the first time that she found out that I smoked a cigarette at a middle school party. My luck, I got caught, and probably the worst punishment to me was that my parents told my Grandma what had happened. She asked me “So I heard that you smoked a cigarette?”.  I could not even look her in the eye, cause I was blinking back big, fat tears of shame. Honestly, I am not even sure why I was so ashamed, because she herself  had smoked since she was 17 and so did my Dad. It was the fact that I thought she was disappointed in me. She gave the “so what” look that she gives, and said “Oh well, we all tried it”. I was shocked, I thought I was going to hear the same speech that my parents had given me about trust and responsibility, but she didn’t. Grandparents are different.

In College, every time my mom would call me, I thought,” this is it...this is the “call”. It was my Mom calling to tell me that either our dog Sammy had died, or my Grandma had. Every. Single. Time. So when she was just calling to ask me how my day was, or to update me on something else, I always gave a huge sigh of relief. Luckily, this “call” never happened for either situation while I was in college. This week, I got that call during the day from my Mom…

Almost every single weekend, the girls and I go and visit my Grandma. The past two week have been very busy at the Hernandez house. I went to Florida with my friends two weeks ago, and the following weekend was birthday parties and a Hernandez Family outings. So I had not seen my Grandma for two weeks, since Easter. It was not a weird feeling, but some sort of force that gently  told me to go Monday after school. I had laundry, and dinner to make, and school work to do, but for some weird reason it did not matter. I knew that it would be a short visit, because she went to dinner at 4:30. I left school at 3:20, picked up Braelyn and we took the 15 minute drive over there. It was a regular visit with Grandma.  Braelyn raided the cookie tin, and I told Grandma I would make her some more Chocolate Chip cookies cause she finished the ones that I made her for her Birthday. She said they were good to help her swallow down her pills with. I always pepper her with some sort of question that pops in my brain during the course of the week, and this time my question was,

“Grandma, why did you never remarry?”

She said “Well, I went to a singles dance once, but it was awkward and there were men on one side and woman on the other, and I was not one to just go over and ask someone. I never really felt the need, and I figured if it happened, it happened.”  

We chatted a bit more about my week and my vacation away. I asked her if anyone died this week and how things were going with the new woman at her dinner table.

I  think I will always feel bad that my last deep question to her was about her love life. But that question made me think of what a strong, independent woman that she was. That night, strangely I went home and wrote my lesson plan for my 5th graders Memoir, about my Grandma and how she is my inspiration for a strong woman...again weird that I had done that and shared it with my class the very next day. Energy works in mysterious ways, and in this case it happened two times.

Literally about an hour after I did that lesson, I got a phone call from my Mom at school. I rushed into the hallway to answer it and I hoped that it was my Mom forgetting that I was at work, but unfortunately not.

“ Tan, your grandmother is in the hospital, they found her unresponsive in her room”

“Are you fucking kidding me?”

“No, I am not.” as I am sure that my Mom would not call and "joke" about this.

“Ok, I am on my way”

After, I blinked out tears all the way to the office, asking if someone could watch my class and luckily it all worked out. I drove as fast at the Ford Fusion could get me to Hoffman Estates.

The best part about my Grandma's passing, is that my family honestly have the best days together leading up to her death on Friday. All those stories that I had heard over my life, were crammed into a hospital room and shared out loud with my Grandma right there with us. Not a whole lot of tears, but a whole lot of laughing. As we sat around my Grandma, I felt she could hear us and I am sure if she could, that she would just kind of give a little chuckle and a half eye roll, as she always did. Now that she is gone, we will not be able to pop into visit to ask her those questions, but now we will have to ask each other, or can improvise them.

I know that these next few months will be tricky for me, cause those questions are going to keep popping my head like they have over the past 35 years and I will have to ask someone else besides my Grandma. Sundays will be strange, cause what will Reagan, and Braelyn, and I do now? I think we will try to do things that she would like us to do, like play ball outside, or go for a walk, or go to the library, or dig in the garden, or read to one another. As we celebrated her life today, I realized that those answers to my questions will be inside of my family. We all loved her to the Moon and Back and it will never be the same, cause Grandmas are just different.